Lemony, Wicked, Awesome, and The Aliens!
by LemonyWickedAwesome
Summary: What happens when the whole motley crew meets aliens? A very stupid crackfic is what happens, Rated M for language and mature themes.


**Lemony:** Everyone knows I write crackfics on three occasions, when I'm sad, when my friends have bad days, and when I have writers block. Right now I have a bad case of writers block.

**Awesome:** I knew it was just a matter of time before you wrote a story about aliens.

**Wicked:** I've always knew Lemony wasn't from this planet and this fic just proves it!

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><p>"Stop the bus!" Lemony cried, "I have to pee again!"<p>

"Uhghhh!" Awesome groaned throwing down her GameInformer, "Lemony this is the third time we've had to stop!"

"Hey you damn badger!" Wicked called to the bus driver named Cazcappy, "Stop the bus! Lemony has to pee...again…"

Right now, the trio was on their tour bus on their way to their biggest, live show ever. It was only the event of the century! They would have gotten there a long-ass time ago if Lemony didn't have to keep going to pee every ten seconds. Awesome told her not to drink all that damn Starbucks, now she had to pee like a Russian race-horse in a Kentucky derby with a glue truck running after her.

"Again, Lemony? Can't you hold it?" Cazcappy called, Lemony was jumping around the tour bus doing the potty dance.

"NO! STOP THE BUS!"

Cazcappy rolled his eyes and pulled over, Lemony practically knocked him out the driver seat as she bolted from the bus. Awesome and Wicked both followed behind carrying flashlights, it was pitch-black outside and they were on a deserted road near the forest. Wicked thought that damned badger took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Gin Ichimaru and Rukia Kuchiki followed as well, Gin was Lemony's boyfriend and also performed in their shows. Rukia was their personal publicist and manger, the raven-haired publicist couldn't let the media find out about Lemony having major bladder problems. It would be bad for the girl's image.

"See," Rukia said to Cazcappy as she left the bus, "It doesn't matter how famous you get, you still might have to go pee in the woods."

Cazcappy rolled his eyes once more as everyone left the tour bus. He slumped his shoulders and waited patiently for their return, hopefully they'd be back on the road soon.

~Meanwhile~

"I don't wanna go any further I'm scared!" Lemony cried, Awesome rolled her eyes.

"Oh no, you just had to go pee, now go pee," She said, Lemony frowned. It was dark, cold, and they were in a deserted and very creepy forest. This was the makings of a Friday The 13TH movie! Lemony feared she would get killed, after all, the pretty one always dies first in horror movies!

"Ugh, if you could hold you bladder, you wouldn't be walking in the _bloody_ forest in the middle of the _bloody_ night!" Wicked ranted, she really hated the wilderness and everything that went with it. The wilderness had little fury creatures, which Wicked despised like nobodies business.

Awesome was just annoyed, period. They were gonna be late for rehearsal, this was their FIRST live show and Lemony was gumming up the works…as usual!

Lemony was hobbling behind Rukia when she suddenly stopped. The younger Kuchiki was staring up at the sky with her midnight blue eyes wide.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Lemony said, she looked around and noticed everyone was staring at the sky with their mouths open like fish. She looked up and almost passed the hell out…

"Awesome…" She drawled, "I don't have to pee anymore…"

There was a freaking UFO coming down from the sky! It was huge, circular, and had flashing lights everywhere! It looked like something straight out of Star Wars! Awesome was terrified that Marvin the Martian might scurry off that ship and vaporize them!

"Oh my God…" Gin breathed as the mother-ship's hatch opened and revealed a large ramp. The group stood completely frozen by the sight before them, they all watched, totally awestruck, at four little creatures that walked from the mist and down the ramp.

"Kkakakajhalammamad?" One said,

(_Translation:_ Is that them?)

Another chimed in, "Kkakakakakamammamay."

(_Translation:_ I think so, look, there's the little one!)

Then the third said, "Lakajajakakkamama!" He sounded kinda angry.

(_Translation:_ You said that last time, and it was a sheep!)

Finally the four little green men stood in front of the stunned group. They were tiny little things, with scrunched up faces, and their heads were shaped like onions! The aliens had little beady black eyes and tiny noses too. They were wearing what looked to be, purple polyester space suits that hung off of their skinny bodies.

"Ghakahajakakaka!" One exclaimed,

(_Translation:_ It's them! It's really them!)

The entire group stood by as one of the aliens slowly reached out its scaly, four-fingered, hand. It looked like it was going to shake hands with Awesome. The eldest sister stood completely still and was wondering what the hell the alien was doing…

Then it grabbed her boobie.

"Ah!" Awesome yelled angrily smacking its hand away, "You little green pervert!"

One of the other aliens punched him on the back of the head.

"KAKAKAJAHJ!" He yelled,

(_Translation:_ You idiot! I told you to shake hands, not breasts!)

A smaller one stepped forward and pointed a finger at each person, he said, "Kakkkajajjamay?"

(_Translation:_ You're LemonyWickedAwesome!)

The three sisters nodded slowly and the aliens began to dance and jump around. Wicked and Lemony instinctively hid behind Awesome, what if this was some creepy alien ritual?

The smaller one said, "KKAKAKAYAHAKA!"

(_Translation:_ We're your biggest fans!)

"Oh how sweet," Lemony said, "Well thanks for supporting us…"

The one who coped a feel on Awesome said, "Jkakakkakakayya?"

(_Translation:_ Can we have tickets to your live show?)

"Sorry, but _we_ don't even have tickets. That show has been sold out for months," Wicked explained, the aliens looked sad. They looked down at the ground and one said sadly,

"Kajuajuauahy!"

(_Translation:_ I told you we shoulda booked earlier!)

"Um…but you can always watch it on Pay Per View," Awesome said hopefully, The aliens nodded then turned their attention to Gin and Rukia. The one on the far left started jumping up and down,

"Kajajajaakkynennahan!"

(_Translation:_ It's Gin Ichimaru! He's Lemony's personal fuck bunny!)

Here Gin frowned, he wasn't anyone's fuck-bunny! He was on the verge of giving the little alien some choice words when he glanced to his right and saw something protruding from another alien's space jacket.

"Kejehjeheun?" He asked Wicked, she arched an eyebrow.

(_Translation:_ Wicked, can you sign this, pretty please with Emo's on top?)

"What is it?" Wicked asked looking at the large, bloated, white thingy coming out the alien's jacket.

"Kajajakaayu," The alien explained,

(_Translation:_ It's my Jipnax, it's the male sex organ of my species.)

Wicked's eyebrow went so high the whole left side of her face almost ripped off, "So basically you want me to sign your cock?"

"Kakakaumem." The alien replied,

(_Translation:_ basically.)

Wicked turned to Rukia, "Do you have a pen?"

Rukia padded down her suit jacket until she found a regular ink pen. She was still shocked at what she was witnessing,

Aliens…

Were LemonyWickedAwesome fans? What in the cosmos was going on here? Wicked leaned down and carefully signed the alien's Jipnax (she was extra careful not to touch it.) She turned back to Rukia and gave her the pen. The younger Kuchiki stared at the writing utensil and thru it while no one was looking. She didn't want to use a pen that had signed a…Jipnax or whatever. The pen was used to sign an alien's wang…that was just so unattractive. And from what she could see, that little alien was a regular porn-star on his planet.

Rukia's attention then turned to the alien who was talking to Awesome.

"Kakakahjjakkau," It whined, Awesome listened to it and nodded in agreement.

(_Translation:_ I still can't beat Halo 3, you're the Gaming Goddess, can you give me some tips?)

"Well, make sure you have plenty of bullets, and always hide behind something and don't let yourself get shot," Awesome said, the alien nodded and then hugged her. The 4 foot tall alien looked small compared to her.

"Kakakahaamnhekkemhehejkeehe!" The creature blubbered,

(_Translation:_ Thank you! Now I know I'll beat that game!...and I'm sorry I touched your boobie…)

Rukia blinked when she saw an alien get down on its knees and began pleading with Lemony.

"Kkajajamajaanamu?" He begged, Lemony looked thoughtful.

(_Translation:_ Please Lemony! One kiss?)

Lemony made a face then said, "Pucker up, precious."

Gin's face fell, was she really going to kiss an alien? Oh he had to snap his eyes shut for this one, he couldn't feel jealous at all, he was still shocked!

The alien closed it eyes and poked out its lips, Lemony gave him one quick peck. The alien's eyes flutter open and then he started jumping around happily.

"KAKAKKAKAKHAJNAHAHHJAHDS!" He sang,

(_Translation:_ Yippee!)

"Hey, sorry aliens, but they have to get back to their tour bus," Rukia said, the aliens looked sad but then asked for a picture on the intergalactic digital camera. They all smiled nervously as Rukia snapped the photo.

The group said goodbye the little green guys then bolted back to the tour bus.

~ A few moments later~

"What do you mean 'aliens'?" Cazcappy asked looking at the wide-eyed group who were all toppled over in the tour bus.

"Like 'aliens' from outer space!" Lemony exclaimed taking a huge puff from her inhaler. She was breathing so hard from excitement and running that she was going to pass the fuck out if she didn't get some oxygen!

"No way," Cazcappy said arching an eyebrow at each of them, "You guys didn't see aliens, stop kidding with me."

"We're serious!" Gin cried, "They were little green men!"

"Dude, we saw E.T's cousin!" Awesome yelled, "I'll be a fat monkey' fury nuts, man! We. Saw. Aliens!

Cazcappy still didn't look convinced, he waved an absent hand at them and chuckled. "Ok, I think you've all been working a little too hard, you might need to take some time off,"

"I am NOT crazy, you damn badger," Wicked huffed, "We know what we saw! And I signed his Jipnax!"

"Jip-what?" Cazcappy asked cocking his head with a funny look on his face,

"Oh let it go, he'll never believe us," Rukia said sitting down and looking around nervously. The whole group tried to settle themselves down but they just couldn't, they saw aliens! Not illegal aliens, but actual freaking space aliens! Gin was still a little jealous that Lemony kissed an alien…but how many girls can say they kissed a little green man and it wasn't St. Patrick's day?

~24 Hours Later~

"THANK YOU LONDON! WE LOVE YOU!" Lemony, Wicked, and Awesome exclaimed into the microphone, the outdoor show was a huge success and their fans were satisfied. It was going on dusk and Awesome looked out into the sky, while still on stage, she tapped Lemony and Wicked.

"Look you guys!" She said pointing upwards, the three sister's all smiled broadly when they saw the stars had aligned to form a message. The stars read:

KAKAKAKKAHAHDJKASDJLA!

(Translation: WE LOVE YOU LEMONY, WICKED, AND AWESOME!)

Lemony, Wicked, and Awesome could all say that their fans were truly out of this world…

THE END!

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><p><strong>Lemony<strong>: Hahaha, I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**Wicked:** I signed a Jipnax…why do I suddenly feel nauseous…

**Awesome:** Ha, sweet! Alien's play Halo but that's kinda ironic considering that you kill aliens in Halo! BTW, I LOVE Star Wars…and Marvin the Martian.

**Lemony:** *shrugs* So now readers: kakahdadlajsldhalfjd…

(_Translation:_ REVIEW!)


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